the forest

The forests are palace of reality, calm and serenity. They welcome us with sweet aroma, gentle noises and they serve us well as places of solitude, and we must return the favour by respecting them. I love taking the girls out to the bush so they too can grow up with the same appreciatiom and respect for such beauty. We have our favourite spots that we return to as we have done this week, on a mission seeking peace and joy. We also have the same old walnut trees that we visit each year to collect fallen nuts for pesto making and general munching. We collected a heap in our baskets, they're smaller than store bought walnuts but slightly more delicious. The nuts sit on the ground hiding in a golden blanket of fallen leaves. The bus are in different stages of decomposition, some with the soft fruit still protecting the nut and some are nice and dry, ready to eat straight away.

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I'm going to stay in this cabin for a few weekends his winter. Its totally free, very basic but what a place of peace.

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It really feels like Autumn now. The leaves on the tree out front of the old cottage have not only turned colour but they've blown off completely with that strong north wind just before the change. The mushrooms are in full swing and feature on bread most mornings with thyme, garlic, chorizo, white wine and butter. The kitchen is a baking production line with hot cross buns, decadent carrot cake and apple slice. None of which I have anything to do with apart from the eating part. Its the season to enjoy warm things from the oven, hearty vegetable stews, slow cooked game and roasting as many things as possible.

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This week some friends have left me which has been a devastating surprise, and some friends have glowed like helpful lighthouse's guiding me away from crashing into rocks and pointing me towards a better place. Breaking up is never easy to do, but Kim and I, we have our own thing going on and we deal with it in a way that no one else knows. We are good old friends after all. 'They' can think they know the details but they never will. 'They' will take part in small town rumours, but they'll get it all wrong. I want to say a big thank you to Kim for being a very special part of my life and working this situation out with me in such a beautiful and supportive way. You're a special girl and you'll make some bloke a very happy dude. And it's so good to see you smile again. Not sure about the orange nail polish though ;-)

Whats keeping me alive is love. The love for my girls. All of them. The negative stuff, well that's up to us how we deal with that. For too long I've let negative feelings beget negative actions. No longer. I can breathe a bit better now.

Mad love

Every time I see a knotted old hole in a tree like this one I can't help but think of Boo Radley. Untitled